Saturday, October 30, 2010


Fall is my favorite season and Hallowe'en is my favorite holiday. I like carving jack-o'-lanterns, I like eating all the pumpkin bread and candy, I like listening to certain scary soundtracks [1], etc. In honor of this wonderful holiday, I'm going to share a few facts I've learned:
  • Contrary to popular belief, jack-o'-lanterns didn't originate in Ireland as turnips—they originated in America in the mid-1800s.[2]
  • The pronunciation of the world Halloween can be used as a shibboleth to discover nefarious aliens in our midst. If someone pronounces it HAL-o-WEEN (mouseover for IPA), they're Homo sapiens. If they pronounce it HOLL-o-WEEN, kill them—they're an alien.
  • Trick-or-treating was originally called souling and involved poor people going around on Hallowmas (November 1), begging for food in exchange for prayers for the dead.[3]
  • Despite the many urban legends asserting as much, there are no reliable recorded instances of Hallowe'en candy being poisoned or filled with razor blades.[4]
  • Trunk-or-treats cause brain lesions in both children and adults who participate in them, so please take your children door-to-door.
  • Hallowe'en is the night children are least likely to be assaulted by a child molester.[5]
  • Melster Peanut Butter Kisses aren't really candy. And they don't taste good. At all. Please refrain from buying them or giving them away. Please.
And now, the jack-o'-lanterns we've carved over the last few years:




I was a mad scientist that year.


Leann's                                             Matt's






As you can see, I'm a little taken with the idea of doing just spooky eyes.


Leann's                                             Matt's

Bonus points for the first person who can say what mine is supposed to be.


[1] e.g. Signs, Jaws, The Twilight Zone, The Village, The Mummy, Edward Scissorhands, etc.

[4] See There actually is a single case, but it was the child's father who poisoned the candy, hoping to cash in on insurance money. He was executed for his crimes in 1984. See also Despite the low likelihood of poisoning or sharp objects in your child's candy, it's still a good idea to check their candy before letting them eat any.


  1. Yours is Portal. Ha ha! Nice Matt! Camille was wondering if those gross Melster Peanut Butter Kisses are the ones wrapped in orange and black? And I just wanted to say I love the fun facts! Very funny and factual!

  2. Click on the links and you'll see what Melster Peanut Butter Kisses are. Blech!