Monday, August 19, 2013

Movie Review: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 and Part 2 (RiffTrax)

Breaking Dawn [1] was 756 pages long (hardcover) and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [2] was 759 pages long (hardcover). Both were made into two movies, each. The Hobbit wasn't even half as long as either, clocking in at a mere 310 pages long. I imagine that when the producers of Breaking Dawn, Part 1 and Part 2 and the producers of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 and Part 2 found out that Peter Jackson was making The Hobbit into three movies, they all facepalmed.[3] As it was, two movies was a lot of Breaking Dawn to take. So let's all be glad that The Hobbit wasn't around to put dangerous ideas into their heads.

My verdict for Breaking Dawn, Part 1: It seemed to me there were more crude jokes and that there was more use of profanity than previous RiffTrax installments. And this one didn't have as many good one-liners as prevous ones have had. Perhaps there's a correlation? The long riff about Stephenie Meyer's incomprehensible use of the words "venom", "adhesive", and "lubricant" was pretty amusing. As for the movie itself, it pulls a trick that I hate: it introduces a new plot element late in the game (that the werewolves won't kill the imprintee of another werewolf, no matter who it is). Why couldn't they tell us this earlier (i.e. in the first movie/book)?

My verdict for Breaking Dawn, Part 2: This RiffTrax was a lot funnier than the one for Breaking Dawn, Part 1. And it also had a lot less profanity and fewer anatomical jokes. A lot of the jokes focus on Stephenie Meyer's inexplicable decision (depicted in Breaking Dawn, Part 1) to have the adult Jacob begin a relationship with the newborn Renesmée fully knowing that it will lead to romance (the joke tying in The Merchant of Venice was particularly clever).[4] This RiffTrax is definitely a keeper, even if the movie being riffed isn't. And since I brought up the source material: a lot of reviewers praised Kristen Stewart's acting in this movie; I thought it was just as bad as ever.[5] The CGI baby was pretty freaky-looking. Why didn't they just use a real baby?


[1] See my RiffTrax reviews of the first three Twilight movies here, here, and here.

[2] See my reviews of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 (here) and Part 2 (here).

[3] If you're not familiar with this term, see

[4] Don't miss out on the HISHE treatment: here.

[5] See, for example, this YouTube video.

Image attributions:

Breaking Dawn is by Jeffrey Pang, available at Melbourne (5147226939).jpg.

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