Thursday, September 27, 2012

Movie Review: Eclipse (with RiffTrax)

There are a few people in this world that I feel a profound pity for. Among them are the 335 men named Edward Cullen [1], the 360 men named Jacob Black [2], and the 24 women named Bella Swan.[3] That pity is due to their unfortunate and un-sought-for association with the Twilight series of books and films. I cannot bring myself to read the books, but thanks to RiffTrax [4], I can experience the movies buffered from their full effect.

My verdict: This RiffTrax, like New Moon [5], was commercial free, so we had an easier time syncing up the RiffTrax. Some of my favorite riffs were: "Oh, no! The movie's become self-aware!" and a reference to Antoine Dodson.[6] However, it had a lot more unnecessary sexual references than the others.

Some comments about the actual movie: There is seriously nothing appealing about Bella for both Edward and Jacob to be so obsessed with her (except for the gimmicky explanation that to Edward she smells especially savory). The way the werewolves run around in a pack and play while in human form is reminiscent of dogs or wolves. But since they were always shirtless, it made them seem like homosexuals.


[1] 165 named Edward Cullen + 32 named Eddie Cullen + 19 named Eduardo Cullen + 8 named Edwardo Cullen + 6 named Ed Cullen + 5 named Eddy Cullen. See

[2] 313 named Jacob Black + 47 named Jake Black. See

[3] 13 named Isabel Swan + 3 named Bella Swan + 3 named Isabelle Swan + 3 named Isabella Swan + 2 named Isabell Swan. See

[4] RiffTrax is the successor to Mystery Science Theater 3000 (to read some of my MST3K reviews, see here, here, and here). Rather than record their commentary over the movie (which requires them to purchase distribution rights), now they just record their audio commentary and you play it while watching the movie. You can preview and/or purchase the RiffTrax commentary for Eclipse here.

[5] See my reviews of the RiffTrax for Twilight (here) and for New Moon (here).

[6] If you don't know who Antoine Dodson is, watch this video and the autotuned version before experiencing this RiffTrax.

Image attributions:

Solar Eclipse is by Denys, available at 2010 Hao 1.JPG.

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