Friday, June 17, 2011

Found Treasures III: Anti-Valentine's Day Party Invitation

Very few of the parties I threw while living in The Colony Apartments in Provo, Utah garnered much attention from the local flora and fauna. The runner-up was a showing of the extended edition of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers using my projector [1], the day after it was released on DVD. But the sleeper hit was the anti-Valentine's Day Party I threw one year. To make things even more delicious, the Relief Society [2] was having an activity that evening for all the girls that didn't have Valentine's Day plans, but most of them came to my party instead. The Relief Society president at the time, Ashley, expressed her consternation to me the following Sunday in Ward Council.[3] Here is the text of the invitation, which I recently recovered from an old floppy disk [4]:

Anti-Valentine’s Day Party

Don’t have a date? Great!
On Valentine’s Day at 8pm in Apt. 420 we will throw off the shackles of this loathsome medieval French holiday and celebrate the joy and beauty of being single.

Activities will include: watch a non-romantic movie (The Bourne Identity or The Fugitive), play Halo on the XBox, decorate “bitter heart” cookies, write anti-Valentines, play games (including Battle of the Sexes), listen to music, share bad date stories, listen to a dramatic reading of Romance (a moonrock love story), and more.[5]
Bring a friend, bring a relative, bring a pet, but don’t bring a date.


[1] Alas, that projector has since gone the way of the craigslist.

[2] If you're not a Latter-day Saint (Mormon) this term may confuse you. The Relief Society is the women's organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The woman called to lead this organization is known as the Relief Society president.

[3] The Ward Council is a meeting that takes place once or twice a month in Latter-day Saint (Mormon) congregations. A local congregation is known as a ward. The council is made up of the leaders of various ward organizations. They meet to discuss the needs of their organizations, to plan ward efforts and activities, and to discuss the needs of individuals and families.

[4] You can read about other treasures I've recovered from those old floppies here and here.

[5] We ended up watching The Bourne Identity, which actually does have a little romance in it. A little Halo was played, but not much. The "bitter heart" cookies were delicious. The anti-Valentines (more properly known as "vinegar Valentines") were hilarious. (The winner, in my opinion, was "If it seems like I'm blinking at you a lot, don't think I'm making eyes at you—you're face is just burning my retinas.") Battle of the Sexes didn't happen, nor did the reading of Romance (a moonrock love story), if I remember correctly.

Image attributions:

I tried to find the copyright owner for Cupid Shot Down with His Own Arrow. But a TinEye search turned up 206 results, so I gave up. If the copyright owner finds this and objects to its usage, let me know (by commenting) and I'll take it down as quickly as possible.

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